


The Neepian Solution

by Melisande



Series: The Neepian Series [1]
Category: Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Genre: Aliens Make Them Do It, Au!Au, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-08
Updated: 2010-09-08
Packaged: 2017-10-11 14:30:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/113448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melisande/pseuds/Melisande
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Neepians find a way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Neepian Solution

**Author's Note:**

> Cathalin and I were tossing around ideas for cliche fics and this happened. It's my interpretation of Brokeback!Aliens Made Them Do It.
> 
> Thanks to Cath for betaing as seriously as if it was a serious story, and for talking me into making a big change that greatly improved the story
> 
> The characters, except Neep, are not mine.

The sheep would be fine, Jack thought as he stretched out on the hard ground, trying to get comfortable. He'd just catch forty winks now so he'd be at his best later, when he went down for supper. Supper with Ennis. Maybe tonight Ennis would even talk. It was Jack's goal in life to get Ennis to talk.

Well, that and other things.

He drifted off, thinking about other things.

"Neep." 

Jack rubbed his eyes, but it didn't do any good. There was still a yard tall blobby blue thing on the grass next to him, all three eyes staring at him.

"Neep . . . Jack Twist," the thing said. "Neep . . . Xthxmsps." It held out a tentacle. Jack automatically reached out and shook the tentacle.

"Pleased ta meet ya."

"Howdy," the blue thing said, and before Jack could say "Howdy" back, he was caught up in a force field and transplanted down to the camp.

"En-nis," the blue guy said. "Need En-nis."

That made two of them. Ennis wasn't here, though. Probably gathering firewood or something. Jack poked up the fire. “Have a seat,” he said, sitting down himself and stretching his legs towards the fire. “Drink?” he asked, as he pulled out his pint.

“Not.”

“Okay,” Jack said, taking a swallow. "Where you from?" he asked, curious.

Neep gestured widely with a few tentacles and said something that wasn't English.

"Far away?" Guy was for sure not from Wyoming.

"Far," Neep agreed. "You come."

What? Was the guy inviting Jack to come with him - somewhere? Jack shook his head, fast. "No, I appreciate it, but I gotta stay here with Ennis. And the sheep."

"Ennis come."

"Jack!" Ennis said, walking up with an armful of firewood, a small, surprised smile on his face. Then he saw Neep. "Whut the - Jack?" He put the wood down carefully and waited, looking from one to the other.

“Hey, Ennis. This is Neep. Neep, Ennis.”

Neep stood and held out a tentacle. Ennis shook it and dropped it fast.

“Howdy, Ennis.”

“Howdy.” Ennis was looking at the ground and kind of hunching into himself.

Jack held out the pint and Ennis took it, looking at him with one eyebrow a little raised.

“I dunno,” Jack whispered, then, louder, “Neep, you wanta stay for supper?”

Ennis glared at him, but Jack’s mama had taught him to offer food to guests, even if he’d rather not have a guest. Which he wouldn’t. Ennis was all the company Jack wanted.

“Supper on ship,” Neep said. “No beans.”

“Neep invited us ta visit him, I think,” Jack said. “He ain’t from around here.”

“No kiddin’,” Ennis muttered. “Jack, we can’t run off and leave the sheep.”

“Sheep fine,” Neep said, and suddenly they were up with the sheep. Two guys who looked just like Neep were there, wearing cowboy hats and watching the sheep. They came running up to Jack and Ennis.

“Ennis del Mar, Jack Twist,” they said, then stood staring. Ennis squirmed as eleven eyes looked at him.

“Sheep fine,” Neep said again. “We go. Word machine on ship.”

  
~ ~ ~

  
“That was a mighty good supper,” Jack said, leaning back. “We surely do appreciate it, but we should git now.”

“Oh, you mustn’t go just yet,” Neep said, his word machine working like a charm. “We have a room prepared for you, but we’re not sure we got it right. Ennis, will you go check to see that it is agreeable to you? You’ll know what Jack likes, as well.”

“Room?” Ennis’s eyebrows drew together. “We ain’t stayin.”

“Room?” Jack’s eyebrows rose. “Just go look, Ennis, won’t do no harm.”

“All right,” Ennis said, grumbly, and went.

“Jack, there is something I must tell you,” Neep said solemnly. “My race is dying.”

“No!” Jack leaned forward, putting his hand on Neep’s tentacle. “That’s awful! Wish there was somethin’ I could do to help.”

“There is,” Neep said.

  
~ ~ ~

  
“We goin?” Ennis asked, sitting up. Jack looked around the room, his eyes finally resting on the big bed, and Ennis.

“Ennis . . .”  This was going to be hard to explain. “Neep’s race is dyin’,” he began.

“No way,” Ennis said after Jack was done. “They wanta make movies of us, of us - ” He stopped, turning red.

“Yup.” Jack nodded. “Seems like they don’t want to, uh, do it much, and their scientists think that watchin’ you and me - um - that it’ll cure ‘em. And the race won’t die out.”

Ennis was shaking his head no, stubborn. Jack hadn’t thought he’d go for it, though he’d hoped.

“But, Jack, we don’t do that stuff. We ain’t never even - ” He stopped, shaking his head some more.

“They ain’t gonna take us back tonight. Let’s get some shut-eye, talk about it in the mornin’.”

“We’re goin’ back tomorrow,” Ennis said, unbuttoning his shirt.

“Yeah, okay,” Jack said, trying to watch without being obvious as Ennis undressed and put on striped pajamas.

“Left or right?” Ennis asked, pointing to the bed.

“Either one,” Jack said, putting on bright blue pajamas. They were real soft. He got into bed next to Ennis and turned out the light.

Jack didn’t sleep very well, and it seemed like Ennis didn’t, either, because he tossed and turned all night.

~ ~ ~

  
“I been thinkin’, Jack,” Ennis said, blowing on the coffee that had appeared in a little cupboard thing when they got up. “Seems like if Neep’s race is dyin’, we should help. Ya know? And if watchin’ us, ya know,” he made a gesture that started Jack’s heart to racing, “We oughta do it. For the good of them.”

“Yeah, Ennis, but - ” Jack had been thinking, too. He took a deep breath, steeling himself. “But if we’re ever gonna do it, I want it to be because you want to, not because of nothin’ else.”

Ennis was silent a minute, staring at his coffee. “That mean you - if I wanted, you’d . . .?”

“You bet,” Jack said.

“Hell, Jack, you know I ain’t never - you know I ain’t - ”

“I understand, Ennis.” Jack said. “We gotta get back to the sheep now.”

Ennis nodded, relieved, like Jack knew he would. “But what about them?”

“They’ll find other guys as good as us,” Jack said. “Ain’t like we’re so special.”

“Yeah,” Ennis agreed.

Neep seemed to think they were that special, but he said he’d take them back to Brokeback now and come around again in the middle of August to talk to them about a little cow and calf operation. Then they were back home, Neep with them. The cowboy Neepians joined them, getting mighty upset when Neep said something to them, but cheering up when he said something else, sounded like “Snit.” They took off their hats and bowed to Ennis and Jack. Jack noticed they were holding tentacles.

“Bye. Later,” Neep said.

“See you in August!” Jack said, and Ennis muttered something. Neep waved all his tentacles and the three disappeared, leaving Jack and Ennis alone again on the mountain.

~ ~ ~

A week later, after they’d switched jobs, Jack was lying in the tent one night when he heard Ennis ride into camp. A few minutes later, Ennis came into the tent, hat in hand, and knelt down. “I want to,” he said.

“Me, too,” Jack said, and leaned forward to kiss him. 

The End.  

 


End file.
